Prince William & Kate ‘believe they have won the US battle against the Sussexes’

During and after the Boston Flop Tour, I’ve been thinking a lot about that @dril tweet: “and another thing: im not mad. please dont put in the newspaper that i got mad.” Prince William and his pussybow’d wife are panicked, desperate and dull and they believe that if they leak hard enough, they can somehow convince people that A) the Boston trip was a success and B) that they are better and more popular than the Sussexes. The Telegraph had a hilarious piece called “The Prince and Princess of Wales believe they have won the US battle against the Sussexes.” Note: it’s not that William and Kate HAVE WON. It’s that they “believe” that they’ve won.

The Sussexes are “painting themselves as victims”: While Prince Harry and Meghan continued to paint themselves as victims, heads in hands, tearing their hair out at the unfairness of it all, the Prince and Princess were simply getting on with the job. In their native US, the documentary project, the forthcoming memoir, the magazine interviews, simply perpetuate the notion that the Sussexes are celebrities rather than statespersons.

Peg & Buttons, changemakers: Last week, some 3,000 miles from California, the Prince and Princess were looking to the future, presenting themselves as “changemakers”, a powerful couple on a mission to create a better future. In doing so, they hopped effortlessly from job to job: turning local landmarks green; fistbumping basketball fans at an NBA Celtics game; meeting climate tech entrepreneurs; and posing for selfies during an impromptu walkabout with hundreds of well-wishers at a youth violence charity.

Kate’s wardrobe choices: “This has been very different from a traditional Royal tour – it has so much more purpose in Earthshot and the Princess’s wardrobe reflects that. She is no Diana arm candy. As a couple, they are selling us an image of a professional power couple, while the Sussexes are selling us their love story.”

Peg & Buttons are beside themselves about the Netflix trailers: Team Wales was convinced the release of a glossy Netflix trailer was deliberately timed to derail their US trip. Several sources close to the Prince and Princess questioned why it was not held for a day or two, while others noted that the Boston trip had perhaps presented them with a convenient platform. It is indicative of how the Sussexes are now viewed at the palace that some have started referring to them as the Kardashians.

[From The Telegraph]

“We hate the Sussexes, they’re just like the Kardashians but look at how many celebrities came to see us and notice Kate’s wardrobe, see, we’re changemakers just like Harry & Meghan, who we hate.” The “changemakers” thing is particularly insidious and disgusting since Meghan’s British Vogue guest-editorship was called “the changemakers issue.” Plus, H&M have definitely embraced the changemakers label too. And the idea that Kate is part of a “professional power couple” is laughable. She wanders around in buttons, wiglets and pussybows, throwing jazz hands and mumbling her way through a Harvard photo-op. She has never been the least bit professional. William and Kate trying desperately to brand themselves a “power couple” will always be hilarious.

Meanwhile, William, Kate and their incompetent staff ran to every British media outlet to cry about the Netflix trailer and more. Royal sources insist that William will complain and explain often in the next few weeks as the Netflix series airs. Yet other sources are crying about how the Windsors hope they won’t have to “engage” with any claims made in the series and that Buckingham Palace might take “a position of lofty disdain when it comes to all matters Sussex“. One source told the Telegraph that the Windsors were convinced that the series would be “Oprah Plus. Oprah with more crying… They’re going to go over a lot of the same points. It will feel more dramatic and they’ll have to up the ante but in terms of narrative points, there can’t be anything left. If she [Meghan] has saved anything from the Oprah interview, I can’t imagine what it is.” Oh, they’re gonna find out!!!

Photos courtesy of Cover Images.