The Highs and Lows of Dating as a Short Man in the Modern World

Short men get a really bad rap when it comes to dating. It’s not that they aren’t nice guys, but it’s not uncommon to come across dating profile after dating profile where a woman states she only wants a man 6 feet and over. “Tall guys only.” “Swipe left if you are under 6 feet.” It can really be tough out there trying to find someone who will date you if you are short.

It all stems from society’s view of taller men being positioned as what a real man looks like. Taller men are seen to be more dominant, stronger, and more confident than their shorter brothers. Women and men are conditioned to think that being taller equates to being better, which we all know is not the case. 

But does height really matter? For some, yes, but for most, it isn’t a big deal. A woman would prefer a short man who is kind and caring than a tall man who is mean and abusive. There are many women out there who love a short king or don’t care how tall you are. To help navigate the dating world as a short man, here are the highs and lows of being a short king.

How Short is Short?

serious young woman looking at the short man

One of the biggest questions surrounding short men is what height makes you short? Just because you are a few inches shorter than your lady friend doesn’t mean you are necessarily short. What if she is 6 foot and two inches? You being 6 feet tall doesn’t make you short.

So what is short? The average height of an American man is 5 feet 9 inches tall, which isn’t really that short in the grand scheme of things. When I think of short, 5 foot 2 inches comes to mind, but then I am over 6 foot so most things look smaller. So officially if you are under 5 foot 9 inches you aren’t cutting the mustard. But don’t feel too bad about this. Spider-man himself, Tom Holland, is only 5 foot 7 inches tall and he is dating Zendaya who is 5 foot 10 tall. There is hope out there yet!

The Biggest Challenges When Dating as a Short Man

There are several key things that impact you when you don’t measure up to height standards. Most of these are out of your hands and more about how others perceive you. It is unfortunate that people judge you on how tall you are, but that is the world we live in.

When It is a Deal-Breaker

Sadly you can’t do anything about this. For some women, your height is a deal-breaker. If you can’t crack that magical 6 foot barrier she won’t want anything to do with you. The most annoying thing about women with this criteria is that they won’t even give you a chance. It puts a dent in the dating pool from the get-go and makes finding love that little bit harder. 

The Stigma Surrounding Short Men

Whether you want to admit it or not, short men are stigmatized by society. As mentioned earlier, they are seen as less attractive and alluring as a man with height. This can be quite a confidence blow, especially if you go on a date with someone who says they really like you but don’t want to keep seeing you because you are too short. What a kick to the guts!

Being with a short man often makes many women self-conscious too. At the end of the day, if someone feels this way, then it is their loss. Better to be with someone who likes you for who you are, no matter how short or tall you are. 

The Fear of Being Mocked

Image is everything these days, and many women don’t want the added pressure of being given shit by their friends because they are dating a short guy. The other side of the coin is that your taller partner might humiliate you for being short, which is even worse. The last thing you want is your girlfriend constantly giving you shit because you are shorter than her. This will certainly dent the ego and lower your self-esteem. 

Self-Confidence Issues

It can really impact your self-esteem if you are constantly being rejected by women because of your height. This can make it hard to keep on dating. If you are always thinking about what others think, this also plays a part in damaging your self-confidence. 

The Advantages of Dating As a Short Man

Sure, there are some negatives to being short in the modern dating world, but it isn’t all bad news. There are plenty of great reasons why women should date you. If your date needs more convincing, get her to read this list. I’m sure it will change her mind. 

Secure Within Yourself

While little man syndrome is a thing, there are just as many short guys who have embraced their height and have no problem with not being able to reach the top shelf. Women love a confident man and if they can see you have no problems with your size, they will be more intrigued to get to know you better.

More Accommodating

According to studies, men often compensate for their height by putting their energy into other positive areas of their personality. They are generally kinder individuals who are loyal, caring, and willing to put others before them. These are great boyfriend traits and sure to appeal to a lot of women. 

Less Likely To Cheat

It might sound crazy, but shorter men keep it in their pants a lot better than taller men. According to the New York Post, a study by the adult dating site Ashley Madison found that men over 5 foot 10 inches were twice as likely to cheat as short dudes. This certainly puts you in a brighter light as someone who isn’t going to mess around. 

Tips for Dating Successfully as a Short Man

So how do you get the ladies to like you? Being yourself is a good start, but if you are still unsure how you will go dating as a short man, here are some tips and tricks to making it work in the modern dating world. 

1. Be Full of Confidence

couple drinking at the bar

While it is true that some short men suffer from low self-esteem, for the most part, they are secure and confident men. Embracing who you are, no matter your size gives you an air of authority. If you have no problem dating someone taller than you, your date will pick up on this and realize that height isn’t a big deal. It shows you are open-minded and non-judgemental and secure in who you are as a man.

If your date is of a similar height to you or smaller, she probably won’t even notice your height and will be dazzled by the confidence you exude. 

2. Be Present


This advice should be followed by everyone who is dating or in a relationship. Being present when with your date is the ultimate way to show that you are interested in them. If you listen intently to what she says, ask questions, and look her in the eye, she will soon forget your height and be taken in by your personality. If you can show her that you are a great guy your height won’t matter in the long run. 

3. Leave the Attitude at Home


Short man syndrome is a thing and will get you nowhere in the dating world. Sure, you’ve been teased about your height all your life, everyone rags on you all the time, and women seem to look down on you (pun intended) more often than not. It sucks, but don’t let that impact who you are. Many short men feel inadequate and less masculine because of their height and this, in turn, causes them to compensate by being more aggressive. This is also known as Napoleon Complex in reference to the famous French military leader who was known to blame his shortcomings on his height. He wasn’t a very nice man.

So don’t let yourself fall into the trap of trying to overcompensate for your height by being an ultra-aggressive bro. Nobody wants this. It will not only put your date off but makes you come across as a complete wanker. 

4. Don’t Focus on Your Height

man dating a tall woman

Similar to talking about your ex-girlfriend all night, don’t turn the conversation into one big snore-fest about your height. While it might come up in conversation, especially if she is incredibly taller than you, move on from that quickly. It shouldn’t be a big issue unless you make it on. 

You can also make a joke about it if the situation calls for it, but again, don’t dwell on it. Don’t keep referencing it or making cracks. Just move on and talk about things that actually matter and show her you are a great guy. 

5. Develop a Presence

pub crawl rainy day date ideas

So you can’t make yourself taller, but you can make it look like you are bigger than you appear. No, don’t wear lifts in your shoes like Mickey in Seinfeld. You can make yourself look taller by the way you carry yourself when with your date. Sit upright and make sure you have a good posture. Use your hands in a positive way and don’t sit with your arms folded across your chest. You want to have an open stance so your date feels like you are welcoming and happy to talk about anything. Smile and keep eye contact with your date. These are all small things that might not seem that important but when combined they make you appear taller than you really are. 

6. Work on Your Style


Further on from creating a presence, working on your wardrobe is another important factor. You might not know it but there are certain clothes that suit your body type and will make you appear more desirable. One big must is to embrace monochrome. Wearing clothes that are similar in color creates a more streamlined appearance. Wearing bold color makes you stand out and can accentuate your height for the worse. Stripes are also great as it makes your date’s eyes look you up and down and makes you look taller than you are. Also, be sure to wear clothes that fit your body type. Slim-fitting clothes make you look taller while baggy clothes make you look wider or bigger, which isn’t what you want. 

7. Get In the Gym


Whether you like it or not, women are attracted to men with a good physique. While this doesn’t apply to every woman on the planet, it is certainly important for some. Now I’m not saying you need to start hitting the gym five days a week, eating protein powder by the handful, or turning vegan, but looking after your body and health will help attract the opposite sex. If you take care of your body and health it shows you take pride in your appearance and the way you look and will make her notice your height less.

Getting fit is also beneficial for you in the long run. Exercising regularly and eating right will not only have a positive impact on your body but will leave you energized and feeling good. 

8. Stay Off the Apps

couple dating happy drinking together

I know, this one is might be a little tricky, but it is better in the long run. You are no doubt continually confronted by profiles of females requesting tall men only. This can be quite disheartening and impact your confidence. Unfortunately, there isn’t a great deal you can do about this as everyone is allowed to have a type. So why don’t get off the apps for a bit and try and meet someone in the real world? 

It’s not as crazy as it sounds. Meeting someone in the real world gives you more of a chance to get your personality across and show people you are meeting who you really are. You don’t have to get off the apps altogether, but maybe just don’t use them as often as you have been. Try and talk to women in your local bar or hit the clubs and see what goes. 

Final Thoughts

Being a short dude in the dating game has its fair share of cons, but you have to try and get past the negative thoughts and embrace who you are and not let your height be an issue. there are plenty of amazing women out there willing to date you for you. Show them how great a guy you are with your confident and charming personality and she will soon forget you are a few inches shorter than her. Good luck. 

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